Helplessly hopeful

I’m starting to dislike word ‘hope’. It leaves people hanging in between. It often makes us loose our time. From day to day, we all hope for something though. I do as well.

It just happens. We hope for peace, we hope for understanding, we hope for love. Some hope for health. For money.

Hope is a cruel thing. It’s when we find ourselves helpless. Not being able to change things or when something is just simply out of our control.

I can’t stand to be helpless but I often find myself in that position for various things. The worst is when you hope for something that you know is not good for you. Weird, right? Well that’s what I’m going through. My mind is split in a half. Part of me has this silly hope in me. Then the other part points their finger at the first part and laughs, thinking – “How stupid it is to hope for that”. Is that a Gemini thing or what? It wears me out on the emotional level that is then passed over to being physically tired as well. Where I have to drag myself out of the bed in the morning or I struggle to fall asleep at night.

Maybe it’s a woman’s thing and how our brain works? I don’t know. Or maybe it’s just me as an individual?

I know one thing thought. I can’t stand hope and I can’t stand being helpless.

Well, I guess that makes it two things…