Giving in

I promised myself to not go there. On the other hand, some promises are there to be broken. Aren’t they?

Why would I stop myself from doing something that my soul asks for? I need to write about you. I need to talk about you.

So far I haven’t let anyone new even close because it’s scary. It freaks me out. Just the thought of it does. Every time I get some attention, I want to run.

Now I’m fighting myself. I’m pushing myself to accept it, to play along and see it through. Letting it happen without cutting it off straight away. Because in the end, I think I need it at this point.

Today I learned that it’s actually not that scary, just have to give in and let it happen. It did lift me up a little. I know one thing though, it will take someone very brave and strong to take my walls down. If they will manage it then I’ll know they are worth it.

Am I ready for it? Don’t think so…because I still carry a part of you with me. Maybe I always will. Just have to accept it I guess.